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Chapter 2: Family Members and Family Roles
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CHAPTER 2
Family Members and Family Roles
TEACHING TIPS AND STRATEGIES TO ACCOMPANY CONTENT
Family Members and Roles (p.20-34)
1. The introductory paragraph in this chapter reiterates the point that ―the child‘s well-being is
inextricably connected to the well-being of the family as a unit and the subsystems within it‖
(p.20). If you are choosing to teach the section on family systems theory and ecological theory
from chapter 1 in your second class, reading this quote aloud is a good introduction.
TEACHING TIPS AND STRATEGIES TO ACCOMPANY CONTENT
Mothers (pp. 20-25)
The role of the mother and employment issues (p.20-22)
1. Resources
The recommended websites at the end of this chapter (p. 35) provide good information to
complement this chapter.
1. For brief background information on pregnancy and parental leave see
http://www.labour.gov.on.ca/english/es/pubs/pregnancy
2. For the document Voices of Canadians Seeking Work-Life Balance (2003) see
http://www.hrsdc.gc.ca/en/lp/spila/wlb/pdf/Voices.pdf
3. For information on a variety of work and family issues see The University of Guelph‘s
Centre Families, Work and Well-being at http://www.worklifecanada.ca/
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Mothers (pp.20-25)
The role of the mother (p.20-25)
1. Shimoni and Baxter make the point that many consider mothering to be ―instinctual and
natural.‖ They note, however, that the roles mothers play have changed over time and differ
across cultures. They argue that the most central issue today concerning the role of mothers
Chapter 2: Family Members and Family Roles
22
relates to employment. No doubt many people in your class will have strong opinions regarding
whether a mother should work in the paid labour market or stay at home. Ironically although
your students may work in childcare, many still believe mothers should be at home with their
children (Shimoni and Baxter, p.24). This can contribute to a ―working mother‘s guilt.‖ Get your
students to focus on what the research says (p.20). Ask the class the following:
a. Should a mother work or stay at home—what does the research say? (p. 20).
It‘s inconclusive, as there are too many factors involved. For e.g. the availability of
quality childcare, existence of support networks, the role the father plays in childrearing
and household tasks, and the flexibility of the workplace all affect how a working or nonpaid mother influences family life.
2. Because so many mothers are in the paid labour market as two incomes are needed in most
families to ‗make ends meet,‘ Shimoni & Baxter assert that the question should not be whether
mothers should work outside the home, but rather our focus should be on the question:
How can working mothers be supported by their employers to help manage the ―time crunch,‖
and create ―family-friendly‖ workplaces?
After discussing this question, arrange to show the NFB film A BALANCING ACT: Work and
Family in the 90s (23 min). Even though it is from the early-nineties, it is certainly still relevant.
a. After viewing the film, pose question 2 again (explore whether students learned about
new policies, which ones, and if and how the film enhanced their understanding of
―family-friendly‖ policies? ).
b. Why is it important to have these policies in place?
For one, they help women manage the ―time crunch.‖
c. Why the focus on women?
According to Statistics Canada (The Daily, July 2006) although fathers/men are doing
more around the home, it is still primarily women who remain responsible for childcare,
cooking and cleaning.
Chapter 2: Family Members and Family Roles
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However, these policies are also important for children. Most Canadian children (7/10)
live in ―dual-earner‖ families.
d. How are/could mothers (AND fathers) be supported by government policies (e.g.
pregnancy and parental leave, a national child care policy etc.)? See Voices of Canadians
Seeking Work-Life Balance document http://www.hrsdc.gc.ca/en/lp/spila/wlb/pdf/Voices.pdf for
further details/possible responses.
e. If a student asks if these policies work for small businesses, or you want to raise the
issue, see the document http://www.worklifecanada.ca/
GROUP WORK ACTIVITIES AND EXERCISES
Mothers (pp.20-25)
The role of the mother (p.20-22)
1. Shimoni and Baxter quote terms like ―time crunch, juggling, or second shift to reflect the
growing sense of guilt and frustration about needing to ―get it all done‖ and never having
enough time for families and children (Milkie et al, 2009).
Ask students to work in small groups and reflect on the busy schedules of mothers and
the pressures to ―get it all done‖. What does ―getting it all done ―entail?
Are there aspects of ―getting it all done‖ that could be reduced in a less competitive
culture? What would these be? Are there aspects of family schedule that could be
reduced or eliminated without detrimental effects on the children? What are they?). Have
students pair up and take turns briefly discussing what they know about their culture and
the role of the mother in that culture. Have students share with the class. In the discussion
consider if there are there similarities across cultures? What are they? Are there
differences? How did they learn about the mother‘s role in their culture? If the student‘s
family immigrated to Canada, ask them to discuss if their mother‘s role changed and if so
how.
Chapter 2: Family Members and Family Roles
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DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
http://www.worklifecanada.ca/
Mothers (pp.20-25))
Attitudes toward mothers (p.20-22)
See STUDENT ACTIVITIES AND EXERCISES #1.
STUDENT ACTIVITIES AND EXERCISES
Mothers (pp.220-25)
Attitudes toward mothers (p.20-22)
1. Have students individually complete the Examine your Attitudes exercise ―What do you think
of mothers?‖ (p.22).
A. Complete the following sentences
1. Mothers are ________________ 2. Mothers should ______________
3. Mothers could_______________
B. Have students individually write the word Mother at the top of a blank sheet of paper
and then fill the page with other words this term suggests to them. Discuss answers as a class
using questions posed by Shimoni and Baxter at the bottom of the box on p.22
C: Add one more question to those in the box: What else do you think (besides your
relationship with your own mother) impacted your attitudes to mothers?
GROUP WORK ACTIVITIES AND EXERCISES
Mothers (pp.20-25)
Attitudes toward mothers (p.22)
1. Have students pair up and take turns briefly discussing what they know about their culture and
the attitudes toward the mother in that culture. Have students share with the class. In the
discussion consider if there are similarities across cultures? What are they? Are there
differences? How did they learn about the mother‘s role in their culture? If the student‘s family
immigrated to Canada, ask them to discuss if their mother‘s role changed and, if so, how.
Chapter 2: Family Members and Family Roles
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DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Mothers (pp.20-25)
Preparation for Motherhood (p.22-23)
1. Students may be surprised to learn that for most women in North America their own
experience of childbirth is the first contact they have had with babies. Ask students if any of
them have had hands on experience caring for babies (in their families, neighbourhood, through
work and so forth). Was it easy? Was it a learning process? What about the temperament of the
baby, how did that factor in? Did they have help or were they on their own (e.g. did they take
the baby to a family resource centre/parent-child centre, were there other caregivers in the
neighbourhood caring for babies they spent time with)? Would they now feel prepared to parent?
If so why, if not why not? If they do, how would they feel if they had never had contact with a
baby? If you are a parent yourself or know any new parents, you could share stories of ―on the
job training.‖
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Mothers (pp. 20-25)
Preparation for Motherhood (p.22-24)
Mothers and experts (p.24-25)
1. Parents, in particular mothers, are bombarded with contradictory advice. Here is a scenario to
pose to the class for discussion: A mother with a newborn asks you if she should let her child cry
itself to sleep (as her sister and mother-in-law are advising her, as are many sleep experts) or be
comforted to sleep (as her best friend, neighbour and many other sleep experts are advising her)?
How can you as an early childhood professional answer her question using a strength-based
approach? See the ―Guiding principles of family support‖ and discuss which ones might apply,
and how these can guide you in answering her question.
http://www.frp.ca/_data/global/images/resources/guiding-e.pdf
Chapter 2: Family Members and Family Roles
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STUDENT ACTIVITIES AND EXERCISES
Mothers (pp.20-25)
Preparation for Motherhood (p.22-24)
Mothers and experts (p.24-25)
1. Parents, in particular mothers, are bombarded with contradictory advice. Have students do a
case study in pairs and then report back to the class. Case study: A single mother with a toddler
exclaimed in desperation: ―I know I shouldn‘t let Benjamin sleep in my bed, but if he is in his
own bed he wakes up several times a night and cries. I just can‘t function at work or at home
without a good night sleep. I‘m just not sure what I should do.‖ How can you as an early
childhood professional answer her question using a strength-based approach? Use the Guiding
Principles of Family Support http://www.frp.ca/_data/global/images/resources/guiding-e.pdf , as
discussed in the first class– give as a handout. Ask students to compare responses within the
group, and to report on their discussion as well as the outcome.
2. Toilet training is a classic example of an issue about which there are many (and often
contradictory) pieces of expert advice. Ask students to browse the web and bring samples of
expert advice to share in class. Discuss how a parent may react to so many different views.
GROUP WORK ACTIVITIES AND EXERCISES
Mothers (pp.20-25)
Preparation for Motherhood (p.22-24)
Mothers and experts (p 24)
1. Another way of getting students think about the pressure mothers are under to ―get it right,‖
and how they are bombarded with contradictory advice on child rearing, is to have them get into
groups of two and role play. Role play: One student can be an early childhood professional, the
other a mother with a newborn baby. The mother with a newborn asks the early childhood
professional if she should let her child cry itself to sleep (as her sister and mother-in-law are
advising her, as are many sleep experts) or be comforted to sleep (as her best friend, neighbour
and many other sleep experts are advising her). The early childhood professional should try to
Chapter 2: Family Members and Family Roles
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answer the mother‘s question using a strengths based approach (see the Guiding Principles of
Family Support and use what appears relevant, at
http://www.frp.ca/_data/global/images/resources/guiding-e.pdf) and then try using an approach
that would be considered disempowering. Have a select number of pairs present to the class and
discuss their approach to practice (was it strength based, if so how, and if not why not?).
2. Social media may have changed the emphasis on expert advice by providing a way of mothers
to learn from each other‘s experiences on the internet. In small groups, after a bit of browsing,
have students discuss the potential for both positive and negative effects of this.
TEACHING TIPS AND STRATEGIES TO ACCOMPANY CONTENT
Fathers (pp.25-28)
As Shimoni and Baxter point out, fathers used to be the ―forgotten parent‖ of the scientific
community, as they were often simply compared with mothers. Today we are learning more
about fathers, and how many fathers are inventing their own models. While we still know little
about certain fathers, e.g. young/teenage fathers, immigrant fathers, gay fathers, fathers of
children with special needs, this situation is changing thanks to a recent project housed at the
University of Guelph. See the website of the Father Involvement Research Alliance
http://www.fira.ca/ for numerous resources you may choose to share with your students. You can
alert students to the fact that you will be showing the film Life with Dad 2002 (43 minutes) in the
class when they discuss single parents, if you choose to do so.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Fathers (pp.25-28).
1. Shimoni and Baxter begin the section on fathers by the statement from Harrington et al. 2010:
―The roles of and expectations for fathers have been changing drastically in our society‖.
Has the change all been for the good? Are there aspects of earlier roles and expectations
that perhaps were worth preserving? If so, what would these be?
Chapter 2: Family Members and Family Roles
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2. Ask the class the following questions, write their answers on the board and discuss their
responses. As Shimoni and Baxter point out, sometimes a good dad means that dad is a good
mom. Did this seem apparent in any of the answers from the class? Have them discuss after you
have written down responses from a, b, and c.
a. What is a ―good father?‖
b. Where do your ideas about what a good father is come from?
c. Do you think what might be considered ―a good father‖ today is the same as ―a good
father‖ was twenty-five years ago? How do they differ? How are they the same?
Supporting fathers (pp. 27-28).
1. Arrange early on to bring in a guest speaker who runs a fatherhood involvement program.
How can an early childhood program assess effective father involvement? See the following
fatherhood programs self-assessment tool from 2004:
http://www.friendsnrc.org/direct../74-fatherhood-programs-self- assessment.pdf
Use the tool as a starting point for asking questions about the program.
2. Ask if anyone in the class every participated in a father involvement program and what
they observed. Would anyone like to work in such a program, why or why not? Discuss
and debate.
GROUP WORK ACTIVITIES AND EXERCISES
Fathers (pp.25-28).
One of the most comprehensive resources concerning fathers and father involvement is ―The
father toolkit‖, published by the Public Health Agency of Canada. It provides the background
and rationale for father involvement, and provides a wealth of tools to help organizations involve
fathers.
a) Browse the table of contents with students and pick several topics, such as:
Chapter 2: Family Members and Family Roles
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Why have programs for Dads; Barriers to Father Involvement Program; Benefits of
Father Involvement Programs; Activities for Dads. Divide the topics, ask students to
summarize and report back to class.
b) The toolkit contains a number of ―pullouts‖ that may be useful for child care centers.
Have students review the pullouts and select up to three that would be useful for child
care centers. Discuss why they chose these.
Supporting fathers (pp. 27-28).
1. Much of the literature that talks about the exclusion of fathers refers to the belief that the
mostly female providers of care are uncomfortable working with fathers. In pairs,
discuss whether this is an issue for you, and if so, what would help you address this.
Read the recommendations (below) from McBride & Rane (1996), regarding Father/Male
involvement in Early Childhood Programs.
1. BE SPECIFIC ABOUT GOALS
2. ACKNOWLEDGE RESISTANCE TO INITIATIVES
3. IDENTIFY THE SIGNIFICANT MALE ROLE FIGURES
4. PROVIDE TRAINING AND SUPPORT SERVICES FOR STAFF
5. TRAIN FEMALE FACILITATORS TO ACCEPT MALE INVOLVEMENT
6. DON’T NEGLECT MOTHERS
7. GO SLOWLY
8. DON’T REINVENT THE WHEEL
(http://ceep.crc.uiuc.edu/eecearchive/digests/1996/mcbrid96.html)
Prior to class, have students read this very brief article and discuss in class each of the points in
pairs. Is there anything they disagree with? Why? Is there anything they would add that isn‘t on
the list? Has anything changed since 1996 when McBride wrote this article? Report back to the
class.
Chapter 2: Family Members and Family Roles
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DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Siblings (pp.28-32)
1. Shimoni and Baxter point out that 80% of Canadians have at least one sibling and that this
relationship outlasts the parent-child relationship. They point to recent research that sibling
relationships may have as much or more influence on the development of children than the
parent-child relationship. If they are young adults they may have recently ―befriended‖ their
sibling(s), in other words, the quality of their relationships have changed for the better. Pose that
as a question to the class- is that the case for any of them? What about older members of the
class, what are their sibling relationships like? Be sure to share something brief about your own
sibling relationship if you have one. Are there any ―only children‖ in the class? What was this
like? What are some pros and cons?
2. Shimoni and Baxter quote recent research that suggests that sibling relationships may have as
much or more influence on the development of children than the parent-child relationship
(Tucker and Updegraaf, 2009: The relative contributions of parents and siblings to child and
adolescent development. In: L. Kramer and K.J. Conger (Eds.). Siblings as agents of
socialization. New directions of child and adolescent development. Vol. 126, pp. 13-28.
www.onlinelibrary.wiley.com). Ask students to read the online article and discuss whether the
research conclusions ring true to the students‘ life experience.
3. Show the film My Brand New Life – Only Child/Big Family (see end of chapter for more
information)
GROUP WORK ACTIVITIES AND EXERCISES
Siblings (pp.28-32)
1. Given that sibling relationships are thought to be so influential, and given also the fact that
many families today are having only one child may lead us to consider the importance of multiage grouping in child care. In groups of four, ask students to discuss the pros and cons of multi-
Chapter 2: Family Members and Family Roles
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age groupings in child care, and whether this may substitute in some way for sibling
relationships. Compare key discussion points among the students.
2. Birth Order (p.30)
First born: hyper responsible, high achiever, more adult oriented
Second born: secretive, more social than first-born
Last born: a charmer, parents have relaxed standards
Ask students to break into groups of three or four and discuss their birth order. Can they relate to
this typology? How so? If not, how are they different? Are there any ―only children‖ in the class?
What was this like? What are some pros and cons? Be sure to share something brief about your
own sibling relationship if you have one.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Grandparents (pp.32-34)
1. Look at some children‘s books and see how grandparents are depicted. (grey hair in a
bun? ; apron and baking cookies? Have each student in the class describe a grandmother
they know – and remember that you very well may have students who are grandmothers);
then create some profiles of today‘s grandmothers. You may do this as a project, creating
the profiles visually with pictures from magazines. How many different kinds of
grandmothers do we see today?? (Highly successful business women – newly retired
people, home-makers; helpers/ travellers???)
2. What do you think are some cultural differences in the roles and expectations of
grandparents? Can you give examples from the class?
Grandparents bestow gifts, serve as babysitters, pass down history, traditions, family and social
values, and act as confidants and role models. ―Grandparents as heroes‖-may also provide
support to their grandchildren indirectly. By offering emotional or material support to adult
children, grandparents may reduce the overall stress in the family, thereby influencing the wellbeing of their grandchildren. Sometimes they are partial or fulltime caregivers.
Chapter 2: Family Members and Family Roles
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Questions to pose to class: Did this work well? Did their grandparent live with them? Was
anyone in the class cared for by their grandparent? Did this work well for you, your parent(s),
your grandparent(s)?
1. Grandchildren may provide companionship, help alleviate loneliness, and keep grandparents
in touch with changing cultural values and new trends. Grandparents may get satisfaction from
grandchildren’s accomplishments and from having helped their grandchildren materially or
nonmaterially.
Questions to pose to class: Does anyone have a relationship with their grandparents they would
like to talk about? What do they think they brought to the relationship as a grandchild?
2. Present the question from the text ―What will you be like as a grandparent; will you be similar
or different from your grandparents?‖
3. Discuss intergenerational programs. Ask if anyone in the class was involved in such a program
while growing up. What do they think were the benefits for the child?for the older adult and for
society?
Resources on intergenerational programs
1. Connecting Generations Tool Kit: Best Practices in Intergenerational Programming
(United Generations Ontario: 2006) download from
www.unitedgenerations.ca/index.cfm?fuseaction=toolkit.CameAbout
2. Kaplan, M., Duerr, L., Whitesell, W., Merchant, L., Davis, D., & Larkin, E. (2003).
Developing an Intergenerational Program in Your Early Childhood Care and Education Center.
(Penn State University:
http://nccic.acf.hhs.gov/node/29278)
The marital subsystem, parental subsystem and parent-child relationship are discussed in chapter
three.
Chapter 2: Family Members and Family Roles
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Video information for Chapter 2:
1. A BALANCING ACT: WORK AND FAMILY IN THE 90S. [1993]. Running Time: 23
min. National Film Board of Canada.
2. MY BRAND NEW LIFE – ONLY CHILD/BIG FAMILY. [2004]. Running Time: 23 min.
National Film Board of Canada.
